Author: theantsybutterflyadmin

I Knew I Could Have Postpartum Depression And Still Wasn’t Prepared

I’ve lived with depression and anxiety for over twenty years. Throughout that time, I’ve seen psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers. I’ve been on and off medication, I’ve self medicated, and I attempted suicide three times in my teenage years.

I am still here, but I know mental illness is something I will deal with for the rest of my life.

Then, two years ago, I had my son — the most glorious time in a parent’s life — but it wasn’t glorious for me. I knew before my son was born there was a good chance I’d go through postpartum depression, but everything started out terribly: I had an awful pregnancy, I was ten days overdue, and eventually I had to have an emergency c-section. read more

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My C-Section Counts – My Response to the Photographer’s Discrimination

While I was surfing Facebook last week, I came across an article on my newsfeed by Sanctimommy that was about a photographer refusing to document a woman’s birth because it was a C-section. It was captioned as: #tmw your #birthphotographer dumps you for having a csection. The photographer claimed that because she had a C-section, she did not actually give birth. The photographer claimed that because the woman “opted” for a C-section, she took the easy way out:

“A surgery isn’t birth, my dear. You aren’t giving birth.
You are having a surgery to remove your baby from
your abdomen. That is not birth no matter how you
swing it and I for one don’t want to be there to take
pictures of it.
If you decide to give motherhood a go from the get
and have an actual birth, let me know and we can
schedule your session.
Motherhood is hard, if I were you I would think
twice about starting such a job by cutting
corners so early in the game” read more

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How Playing With Our Son Brought Us Closer

Having a kid has certainly put a new twist to our once-childless life. While parenting has filled us with a love we never knew was possible, it has also changed the dynamics of our home and our relationship.

Since having our son, my husband and I have struggled a bit with finding the new norm. The long days have resulted in us forgetting to connect in the way we once did. Don’t get me wrong, we spend time together, but we don’t often play together. We spend a lot of time sitting side-by-side, reading a book or, more often, our phones. We’re looking down instead of looking at each other – talking, laughing, smiling. We let our comfort in each other and the daily exhaustion take over what once was. read more

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What I Think MOTHER Stands For

I had just put my son to bed and was staring at the computer, trying to think of something to write about while glancing at the monitor to make sure he’s asleep. Then it hit me. I’m a mother, but what does MOTHER really mean?

Mothers are the superheroes that don’t get capes (unless you’ve actually gone out to get yourself a cape, in which case I applaud you because you deserve it). Mothers are powerful beings who can cure boo-boos with kisses and make everything better with hugs.

The ones who don’t appreciate these people the most, and who really should, are the ones who call them Mommy (I know… I too was one of these creatures many years ago). It’s true that at their young age, they haven’t learned the value of the mother yet. They live in their own bubble until they’re ready to venture the world on their own. Once outside of said bubble, they are able to appreciate their moms on a whole different level (was true for me). read more

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The One Where Bernadette Has the Baby-Blues

The holidays are over and my television shows come back on. One of the shows that returned is The Big Bang Theory. I watch this show on and off but I did manage to catch Thursday’s episode (okay, I recorded it so I watched it Friday, but I did watch it).

I admit I got emotional when the show moved on to Howard, Bernadette and their new baby girl. Bernadette came out of the room dressed in sweats and looking exhausted. After spending two hours trying to get her daughter to sleep, she succeeded. Seconds later the men came home, and a few more seconds after that, the baby woke up and started crying again. At that moment, I felt her pain. I felt her frustration. I felt her defeat. We had a very hard time putting our son down for a nap when he was an infant. He would nap maybe twice a day for twenty-minutes at a time. Napping was not his forte and he was nicknamed the Anti-Napper. read more

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Why We Should All Put Down that “How To Be A Parent” Book

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet difficult job I’ve ever walk into. It’s got ups and downs, pros and cons, trials and tribulations, but at the end of the day, I can look at the face of my little guy and be proud. I created life!

Two years ago, I go pregnant with my first (and to be only) child. Of course, there was the advice that came from the people we loved most in the world, our family and friends. That advice was helpful and welcomed. I had also chosen to read up on a bunch of expectant mother books and articles, all providing me with an overdose of information. I retrospect, I found the advice from my family and friends less intense and confusing than the books and articles I was reading. read more

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Confessions from a Woman Who Once Judged You: This Mama Is Sorry

Before we had our son, I thought I knew everything about raising kids and that I was prepared. I was a know-it-all. I had all the answers. I felt like I was at the top of that game. I thought since I had a background in psychology, I am an aunt, I have friends with kids, and I work with kids that I was set. “I’ve got this”. I’m great with kids and kids take to me. I’m approachable and fun. “I’ve got this”. Sure you do Karen, sure you do.

Truth is, I did not “have this”. Mrs. Know-it-all quickly became Mrs. I’m-sorry-I-was-an-ass-and-judged-you very quickly after I had my son. It wasn’t long after I gave birth that I apologized to all my friends and my sister. I told them I was sorry if I ever made them feel judged or if I was ever unsupportive, because I was sure I had at one point or another. They were good about it and all of them gave me a pass. read more

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Banana Mini-Muffins Your Kids Will Love

From the time my son started eating solids, I did my best to make sure he had wholesome and delicious foods. One day I made a banana bread and then it occurred to me that I could turn this banana bread into a healthy mini-muffin for my mini-human. For the past two years, I have been turning any bread and muffin recipe I come across into my own version of healthy mini-muffins. There were some fails, but I scored with this one! My husband calls these “hippie muffins” and my son loves them. They make a good breakfast with some yogurt or served as a snack. read more

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When Daycare is Closed

When my son was in daycare, I sent him off five days a week, even if I wasn’t working. I used the given time I had at home to catch up on chores, write articles, and work on the latest course I was taking.

One night, my daycare called to cancel for the next two days for personal reasons.

That’s okay, I tell her, I understand.

I remember the thought sinking in like slime oozing out it’s container: what will I do with my kid for the next two days?

My anxiety set in: how are you going to entertain him for two whole days? read more

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My Battle with Body Dysmorphia

Weight has been an issue I have carried with me since I was in elementary school. My first memory of body dissatisfaction was in grade three. My class was doing an activity and we were all asked to all weigh ourselves. There was more to the activity and it had nothing to do with our weight per se, but weighing ourselves was a part of it. I was in line and saw the weight of the girl in front of me. I can’t remember the number, but I remember the feeling I had after I stepped on the scale and saw that my number was bigger. As a child who was eight or nine at the time, I had my first “I’m fat” moment. I have a hard time recalling where that thought would have come from because I have no recollection of ever being told I was overweight. read more

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