Having a Kid: What I said I’d Do vs. What I Actually Do

My life before having a baby was full of knowing exactly what I’d do when I have a baby. You see, my husband and I were the last of our group of friends to have a child so I felt like I had already had my first with theirs (which is a ridiculous thought, I know). I was sure I would automatically know how to navigate around this parenting thing and my baby and I will be in sync.

Fast-forward to having that baby and – in a shocking turn of events – I was wrong. I did not feel “in sync” with anyone after having my child. I had no clue what was going on. Here I was, with this tiny-human who came out of my body, and I didn’t know what to do with it, err, him. read more

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No, I Don’t Need To Put More Meat On My Bones

As someone who has lived most of my life with body image issues, I’ve had a great few months living with a broken scale and not worrying too much about how much I’m working out and what I’m eating. Instead of working out four or five times a week, I’ve been okay with working out once or twice a week. Instead of swearing off take out and junk food, I’ve allowed myself a little more leeway.

Until today. Because today is the day that things changed. Today is the day that, since 8:45am, I’ve done nothing but think about how much I want to work out and what food I can have. Today is the day that I heard my first comment related to my body in a long time. Today is the day that a woman at work told me I should put some meat on my bones if I want to stay warm in this frigid weather, and thanks to that comment, I’ve done nothing but think about how I look and if I’m truly satisfied with my body. Today is the day that I took the dead battery out of my scale and put it on the table to remind myself to get a new one so that I can check my weight. read more

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Mango Curry Chicken

A few years ago, we had a family friend come visit from Israel. He is an excellent cook who wowed us every time with his ability to throw anything into the pot and create a masterpiece. One evening, he made a whole-fish mango curry and it was fabulous. I begged for the recipe and he kindly gave it to me, letting me know I can also make it with chicken. I couldn’t wait to recreate this meal for my husband and son.
Since I haven’t learned the arts of cooking a whole-fish, I’ve been making this meal using chicken and it is just as fabulous. Mango Curry Chicken is made anytime we manage to find good mangoes. Here it is, I hope you enjoy! read more

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I Knew I Could Have Postpartum Depression And Still Wasn’t Prepared

I’ve lived with depression and anxiety for over twenty years. Throughout that time, I’ve seen psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers. I’ve been on and off medication, I’ve self medicated, and I attempted suicide three times in my teenage years.

I am still here, but I know mental illness is something I will deal with for the rest of my life.

Then, two years ago, I had my son — the most glorious time in a parent’s life — but it wasn’t glorious for me. I knew before my son was born there was a good chance I’d go through postpartum depression, but everything started out terribly: I had an awful pregnancy, I was ten days overdue, and eventually I had to have an emergency c-section. read more

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My C-Section Counts – My Response to the Photographer’s Discrimination

While I was surfing Facebook last week, I came across an article on my newsfeed by Sanctimommy that was about a photographer refusing to document a woman’s birth because it was a C-section. It was captioned as: #tmw your #birthphotographer dumps you for having a csection. The photographer claimed that because she had a C-section, she did not actually give birth. The photographer claimed that because the woman “opted” for a C-section, she took the easy way out:

“A surgery isn’t birth, my dear. You aren’t giving birth.
You are having a surgery to remove your baby from
your abdomen. That is not birth no matter how you
swing it and I for one don’t want to be there to take
pictures of it.
If you decide to give motherhood a go from the get
and have an actual birth, let me know and we can
schedule your session.
Motherhood is hard, if I were you I would think
twice about starting such a job by cutting
corners so early in the game” read more

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Vegetable Chicken Quinoa

There was a time last year when my husband was gone during the week for work and was only home on weekends. I found dinners to be one of my biggest challenges as I was tired after working all day never felt like cooking when I got home. But not making dinner was not an option as I needed to feed my son. I wanted to make healthy meals that would carry us for a few days and give me a small break. Having recycled through most of my on-hand recipes, we needed a change. Out of frustration one night, I pulled out some chicken and whatever vegetables I had laying around in our refrigerator. I chopped everything up, pulled out some spices from the cupboard, and got to work. In no time at all, we had a delicious and healthy meal made with love and it is now a staple in our home. read more

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How Playing With Our Son Brought Us Closer

Having a kid has certainly put a new twist to our once-childless life. While parenting has filled us with a love we never knew was possible, it has also changed the dynamics of our home and our relationship.

Since having our son, my husband and I have struggled a bit with finding the new norm. The long days have resulted in us forgetting to connect in the way we once did. Don’t get me wrong, we spend time together, but we don’t often play together. We spend a lot of time sitting side-by-side, reading a book or, more often, our phones. We’re looking down instead of looking at each other – talking, laughing, smiling. We let our comfort in each other and the daily exhaustion take over what once was. read more

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Butternut Squash and Sweet Potato Soup

The cold months are back and it’s soup time!
I’ve always been a bit adverse to butternut squash, so when my mother asked me to try her butternut squash and sweet potato soup for the first time, I was skeptical. After feeling pressured from my parents and my husband to “just try the soup already!”, I gave in. Now this soup is a regular in our house.
This soup is creamy, delicious, and easy to make. Enjoy!!

Butternut Squash & Sweet Potato Soup

You will need:
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp minced garlic
2 small onions, diced
1/2 a butternut squash, peeled, seeded and chopped
2 cups peeled, chopped sweet potato (about 2 medium size)
4 cups of vegetable broth
1/2 tbsp minced fresh ginger
1/2 tbsp curry powder
1 tbsp honey read more

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What I Think MOTHER Stands For

I had just put my son to bed and was staring at the computer, trying to think of something to write about while glancing at the monitor to make sure he’s asleep. Then it hit me. I’m a mother, but what does MOTHER really mean?

Mothers are the superheroes that don’t get capes (unless you’ve actually gone out to get yourself a cape, in which case I applaud you because you deserve it). Mothers are powerful beings who can cure boo-boos with kisses and make everything better with hugs.

The ones who don’t appreciate these people the most, and who really should, are the ones who call them Mommy (I know… I too was one of these creatures many years ago). It’s true that at their young age, they haven’t learned the value of the mother yet. They live in their own bubble until they’re ready to venture the world on their own. Once outside of said bubble, they are able to appreciate their moms on a whole different level (was true for me). read more

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The One Where Bernadette Has the Baby-Blues

The holidays are over and my television shows come back on. One of the shows that returned is The Big Bang Theory. I watch this show on and off but I did manage to catch Thursday’s episode (okay, I recorded it so I watched it Friday, but I did watch it).

I admit I got emotional when the show moved on to Howard, Bernadette and their new baby girl. Bernadette came out of the room dressed in sweats and looking exhausted. After spending two hours trying to get her daughter to sleep, she succeeded. Seconds later the men came home, and a few more seconds after that, the baby woke up and started crying again. At that moment, I felt her pain. I felt her frustration. I felt her defeat. We had a very hard time putting our son down for a nap when he was an infant. He would nap maybe twice a day for twenty-minutes at a time. Napping was not his forte and he was nicknamed the Anti-Napper. read more

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