Parenting

Top 9 Things I Want My Son to Know

Finding out we were having a baby was exciting. We looked forward to the new addition to our family, and we felt semi-ready for the change. Of course, we could never have predicted what parenting is really all about. I mean, we thought we knew, but we really didn’t.

While we were certainly hit with a curve-ball once our son was born, we held on to our principles and values and hope to instill these on our tiny-human.

1. It is ok to cry and show emotion
I think that we have come a long way in society and we are slowly destructing that old prejudice where males are not supposed to cry or show emotion. My son is a toddler and of course cries about everything. He’s confused about his emotions. Crying is a sign of his frustration, anger, disappointment, and pain. Similarly, I, as an adult, cry for those same reasons. My husband and I make sure we validate his feelings. We let him know it’s okay to cry and feel what he’s feeling. We let him know that we’re here when he wants to use his words to talk to us. Unlike myself, my husband didn’t get to express much emotion as a child, so this is all new to him too. However, despite this unfamiliarity, he’s doing quite well with our little guy. read more

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I Wrote a Piece on Fake News: My C-Section Story

I did it. I admit it. I wrote a piece on false news. A piece on a heart wrenching and frightening experience I had, and I based it all on false news.

Last month I wrote a piece called My C-Section Counts – My Response to the Photographer’s Discrimination. I felt good about this piece and I posted it on my blog as soon as I could.  

I based said piece on a post shared on Santimommy, that I found on my newsfeed. The post was about a photographer refusing to take photos of a c-section. As the story goes, the photographer denied the job as she felt that a c-section was a woman’s way of “cutting corners” and therefore “not real birth”. I was outraged! How could someone be insensitive? How can someone think that a c-section isn’t birth? After reading about it on several posts that appeared on different sites, I decided to pen my own C-section story. Writing about it was quite emotional, but I felt good. It felt good to share my story with the motherhood community. read more

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Having a Kid: What I said I’d Do vs. What I Actually Do

My life before having a baby was full of knowing exactly what I’d do when I have a baby. You see, my husband and I were the last of our group of friends to have a child so I felt like I had already had my first with theirs (which is a ridiculous thought, I know). I was sure I would automatically know how to navigate around this parenting thing and my baby and I will be in sync.

Fast-forward to having that baby and – in a shocking turn of events – I was wrong. I did not feel “in sync” with anyone after having my child. I had no clue what was going on. Here I was, with this tiny-human who came out of my body, and I didn’t know what to do with it, err, him. read more

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My C-Section Counts – My Response to the Photographer’s Discrimination

While I was surfing Facebook last week, I came across an article on my newsfeed by Sanctimommy that was about a photographer refusing to document a woman’s birth because it was a C-section. It was captioned as: #tmw your #birthphotographer dumps you for having a csection. The photographer claimed that because she had a C-section, she did not actually give birth. The photographer claimed that because the woman “opted” for a C-section, she took the easy way out:

“A surgery isn’t birth, my dear. You aren’t giving birth.
You are having a surgery to remove your baby from
your abdomen. That is not birth no matter how you
swing it and I for one don’t want to be there to take
pictures of it.
If you decide to give motherhood a go from the get
and have an actual birth, let me know and we can
schedule your session.
Motherhood is hard, if I were you I would think
twice about starting such a job by cutting
corners so early in the game” read more

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How Playing With Our Son Brought Us Closer

Having a kid has certainly put a new twist to our once-childless life. While parenting has filled us with a love we never knew was possible, it has also changed the dynamics of our home and our relationship.

Since having our son, my husband and I have struggled a bit with finding the new norm. The long days have resulted in us forgetting to connect in the way we once did. Don’t get me wrong, we spend time together, but we don’t often play together. We spend a lot of time sitting side-by-side, reading a book or, more often, our phones. We’re looking down instead of looking at each other – talking, laughing, smiling. We let our comfort in each other and the daily exhaustion take over what once was. read more

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What I Think MOTHER Stands For

I had just put my son to bed and was staring at the computer, trying to think of something to write about while glancing at the monitor to make sure he’s asleep. Then it hit me. I’m a mother, but what does MOTHER really mean?

Mothers are the superheroes that don’t get capes (unless you’ve actually gone out to get yourself a cape, in which case I applaud you because you deserve it). Mothers are powerful beings who can cure boo-boos with kisses and make everything better with hugs.

The ones who don’t appreciate these people the most, and who really should, are the ones who call them Mommy (I know… I too was one of these creatures many years ago). It’s true that at their young age, they haven’t learned the value of the mother yet. They live in their own bubble until they’re ready to venture the world on their own. Once outside of said bubble, they are able to appreciate their moms on a whole different level (was true for me). read more

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The One Where Bernadette Has the Baby-Blues

The holidays are over and my television shows come back on. One of the shows that returned is The Big Bang Theory. I watch this show on and off but I did manage to catch Thursday’s episode (okay, I recorded it so I watched it Friday, but I did watch it).

I admit I got emotional when the show moved on to Howard, Bernadette and their new baby girl. Bernadette came out of the room dressed in sweats and looking exhausted. After spending two hours trying to get her daughter to sleep, she succeeded. Seconds later the men came home, and a few more seconds after that, the baby woke up and started crying again. At that moment, I felt her pain. I felt her frustration. I felt her defeat. We had a very hard time putting our son down for a nap when he was an infant. He would nap maybe twice a day for twenty-minutes at a time. Napping was not his forte and he was nicknamed the Anti-Napper. read more

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Why We Should All Put Down that “How To Be A Parent” Book

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet difficult job I’ve ever walk into. It’s got ups and downs, pros and cons, trials and tribulations, but at the end of the day, I can look at the face of my little guy and be proud. I created life!

Two years ago, I go pregnant with my first (and to be only) child. Of course, there was the advice that came from the people we loved most in the world, our family and friends. That advice was helpful and welcomed. I had also chosen to read up on a bunch of expectant mother books and articles, all providing me with an overdose of information. I retrospect, I found the advice from my family and friends less intense and confusing than the books and articles I was reading. read more

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Confessions from a Woman Who Once Judged You: This Mama Is Sorry

Before we had our son, I thought I knew everything about raising kids and that I was prepared. I was a know-it-all. I had all the answers. I felt like I was at the top of that game. I thought since I had a background in psychology, I am an aunt, I have friends with kids, and I work with kids that I was set. “I’ve got this”. I’m great with kids and kids take to me. I’m approachable and fun. “I’ve got this”. Sure you do Karen, sure you do.

Truth is, I did not “have this”. Mrs. Know-it-all quickly became Mrs. I’m-sorry-I-was-an-ass-and-judged-you very quickly after I had my son. It wasn’t long after I gave birth that I apologized to all my friends and my sister. I told them I was sorry if I ever made them feel judged or if I was ever unsupportive, because I was sure I had at one point or another. They were good about it and all of them gave me a pass. read more

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When Daycare is Closed

My son attends daycare five days a week, even if I’m not working. I use the time I have at home catch up on chores, write articles, and work on the latest course I am taking.

One night, my daycare calls to cancel for the next two days for personal reasons. That’s ok, I tell her, I understand. Then the thought sinks in: what will I do with my kid for the next two days? My anxiety sets in: how are you going to entertain him for two whole days?  I start running through scenarios in my mind. All day? Just me and him? Panic pulls up a chair, relaxes, and makes itself comfortable. read more

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